


Survivor's Guilt

by DracoPendragon



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dark, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Sherlock Texting, Suicide, Texting, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:16:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9490670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoPendragon/pseuds/DracoPendragon
Summary: Doesn't every evil genius text his nemesis? And doesn't every nemesis reply, and keep texting them even after the evil genius has killed themselves?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _Sherlock_ , Jim

**[10:55]  
** Jumbo Jet. Dear me Mr Holmes, dear me.

 

* * *

 

**[00:12]  
** Did you get my message from Irene? JM x

 

**[00:15]  
** _Yes._

 

**[00:16]  
** Thank god for the consulting criminal. x

 

**[00:20]  
** _Busy._

 

**[00:21]  
** No you’re not.

 

**[00:22]  
** _How do you know?_

 

**[00:22]  
** Intuition, dear.

 

**[00:23]  
** _Lie._

 

**[00:24]  
** Yeah okay. If you really were too busy to talk, you’d stop replying.

 

**[00:30]  
** Sherlock?

 

**[00:35]  
** Well you’re being very boring.

 

**[00:45]  
** Shall I leave you alone?

 

**[01:00]  
** Or I could keep texting you, that’d be fun.

 

**[01:01]  
** _What do you want?_

 

**[01:01]  
** Is that not obvious?

 

**[01:02]  
** _Of course. You want my attention._

 

**[01:04]  
** Can you really blame me though? Not many people get to spend such intimate time with the world’s greatest consulting detective.

 

**[01:05]  
** _I’m the world’s only consulting detective. Besides, this is hardly what I’d call intimate._

 

**[01:06]  
** Intimate for you. A face like yours and you’ve never been laid, I can barely believe it.

 

**[01:07]  
** _What exactly are you going to do about it?_

 

**[01:07]  
** Add it to the list of problems we need to fix.

 

**[01:07]  
** _What other problems are there?_

 

**[01:08]  
** The Final Problem, of course.

 

**[01:10]  
** _The final problem?_

 

**[01:11]  
** You’ll see. Anyway, I’d best be off. We really must catch up soon.

 

**[01:11]  
** _Until then._

 

* * *

 

**[13:23]  
** Wanna grab a coffee? JM x

 

**[13:25]  
** _10 minutes._

 

**[13:25]  
** I’ll wait for you outside x

 

**[13:36]  
** You’re late.

 

**[13:36]  
** _5_

 

**[13:37]  
** Tick tock goes the clock.

 

**[13:38]  
** _3_

 

**[13:39]  
** Time’s running out.

 

**[13:40]  
** _1_

 

**[13:40]  
** I see John leaving, but no you.

 

**[13:41]  
** _Look again._


	2. Chapter 2

**[04:27]**  
How's the latest case going?  
JM x

 

 **[04:27]  
** _Boring._

 

 **[04:28]  
** Looks it.

 

 **[04:29]  
** _You can see what I'm doing?_

 

 **[04:29]  
** Well, I have to keep an eye on my favourite detective. Want to play a game?

 

 **[04:30]  
** _What, find the hidden cameras? Don't be so boring._

 

 **[04:30]  
** Fine, don't get rid of the one in your shower.

 

 **[04:31]  
** _There isn't a hidden camera in my shower._

 

 **[04:31]  
** You don't know that.

 

 **[04:33]  
** _... You're lying._

 

 **[04:33]  
** Prove it, dear.

**[04:34]  
** _Later. I have to work on this._

 

 **[04:35]  
** You're boring.

 

 **[04:35]  
** _Fine. What game do you want to play?_

**[04:40]  
** _Jim?_

 

 **[04:55]  
** Sorry, it was just...

 

**[incoming call, 04:55]**

 

_'Jim. What do you want?'_

'I needed someone to talk to. And other people don't understand.'

_'Understand what?'_

'The need for a good distraction.'

_'And what do you need to be distracted from?'_

'Don't play dumb, Sherlock.'

'...'

'Can I come over?'

'...'

'Sherlock?'

_'I'm here, I just... Yes, you can come over.'_

‘Are you sure this isn’t an inconvenience?’

_‘No, I’m sure. John is out and this case is boring me.’_

‘Thank you.’

‘…’

‘…’

 

**[call disconnected, 04:59]**


	3. Chapter 3

**[16:02]  
** I left my tie pin at yours, do you mind if I drop by today and pick it up? JM x

 

**[16:03]  
** _Shouldn’t be a problem, let yourself in._

 

**[16:04]  
** _How are you feeling today?_

 

 **[16:04]  
** You don’t need to worry about me, Sherlock.

 

**[16:05]  
** _Not the impression I got last night._

 

 **[16:05]  
** Last night was a one-time thing.

 

**[16:06]  
** _I thought we were above lying to one another._

 

 **[16:06]  
** Alright, fine. You’ll be the first to know if it happens again.

 

**[16:07]  
** _Make sure you rebandage your wrists._

 

 **[16:07]  
** I know.

 

 **[16:09]  
** Thank you.

 

**[16:10]  
** _No problem._

 

**[17:00]  
** _John’s out, you can come round._

 

**[17:01]  
** _We can cuddle and watch crappy crime procedurals._

**[17:02]  
** Sounds divine x

 

 **[17:05]  
** Be there in 10.

 

**[17:16]  
** _You’re late._

 

 **[17:16]  
** King of crime, not traffic.

 

 **[17:17]  
** Put the kettle on, I’ll be there in a flash x

 

**[17:17]  
** _Kettle’s on. Let yourself in._

 

* * *

**[22:04]  
** I see you didn’t fix the door x

 

**[22:04]  
** _No one ever knocks anyway._

 

 **[22:05]  
** Not that you’d notice if they did.

 

 **[22:07]  
** What did John say about it?

 

**[22:08]  
** _I told him it was an experiment. He seemed to buy it._

 

 **[22:08]  
** Interesting experiment. What did you conclude?

 

**[22:10]  
** _Sometimes a partner is needed to help you solve a problem._

 

 **[22:10]  
** And?

 

**[22:10]  
** _And you’re an invaluable partner._

 

 **[22:11]  
** Thank you, I’m flattered. Not that you’d know, really, but it’s the thought that counts.

 

 **[22:15]  
** I’ll send Seb to fix the door. No charge x


	4. Chapter 4

**[03:11]  
** There’s so much blood

 

 **[03:11]  
** Please help

 

 **[03:11]  
** I don’t know what I did

 

 **[03:11]  
** Sherlock please

 

 **[03:11]  
** P

 

 **[03:14]  
** Please

 

 **[03:14]  
** I’m all alone please

 

**[03:14]  
** _Jim, you need to breathe in deep. Apply pressure to the wound, prevent as much blood loss as you can. Where are you?_

****

**[03:15]  
** My apartment

 

**[03:17]  
** _Found it. I’ll be there as soon as possible_

**[Incoming call, 03:17]**

 

_‘Jim?’_

‘…’

_‘Jim!’_

‘…’

_‘Jim speak to me, what’s happening? Whose blood is it?’_

‘Sherlock please…’

_‘I know, Jim, I know, but you need to tell me more.’_

‘There’s so much blood…’

_‘Is it yours?’_

‘…’

_‘Tell me, is the blood yours?’_

‘…’

_‘Is there anyone else, anyone with you?’_

‘…no.’

_‘Jim, why?’_

‘Why does anyone… do anything?’

_‘…’_

‘Sherlock don’t leave me’

_‘I won’t. I promise.’_

‘Hah. I’ll hold you to that.’

_‘You don’t leave me, I don’t leave you. Deal?’_

‘Deal.’

_‘Alright, keep talking to me. I’m almost there.’_

‘I love the stars, you know.’

_‘Never saw the beauty of them.’_

‘They shine so bright even when they’re dead.’

_‘I know. When I look at you your eyes are full of stars.’_

‘…’

_‘Jim are you okay?’_

‘…’

_‘I’m at the door, is it unlocked?’_

‘Mhmm.’

_‘Alright, I’m coming in.’_

 

**[Call disconnected, 03:27]**


	5. Chapter 5

**[12:00]  
** What time did you leave?

 

**[12:01]  
** _About ten minutes ago._

**[12:01]  
** I thought we were above lying to each other.

 

**[12:01]  
** _Two hours ago._

 

**[12:02]  
** Next time you can stay even longer, as far as I’m concerned.

 

**[12:03]  
** _I don’t want there to be a next time._

 

**[12:05]  
** _I don’t mean it like that._

 

**[12:06]  
** _I don’t want you to do that to yourself._

 

**[12:10]  
** Did I scare you, Sherlock Holmes?

 

**[12:12]  
** What, did you think you could just fuck the sadness away?

 

**[12:12]  
** _I never said that._

 

**[12:17]  
** _You don’t mean that._

 

**[12:20]  
** Yeah okay, maybe I don’t. but does it matter?

 

**[12:21]  
** _You matter. You made me who I am. I’d be nothing without you._

 

**[12:22]  
** And I’d be dead without you. Dead and happy.

 

**[12:23]  
** _The dead don’t feel emotions, Jim._

**[12:23]  
** Guess I don’t need to die if I’m already dead then.

 

**[12:24]  
** _You must feel something._

**[12:24]  
** Why must I?

 

**[12:24]  
** _Everyone does._

 

**[12:24]  
** Do you?

 

**[12:25]  
** _Yes._

**[12:27]  
** What do you feel?

 

**[12:28]  
** _Love._

**[12:29]  
** Who do you love, Sherlock Holmes?

 

**[Incoming call, 12:30]**

 

_‘… If I say it, will you say it back?’_

‘You’ll have to wait and see.’

_‘…’_

‘Go on.’

_‘You’re enjoying this.’_

‘A little.’

_‘…’_

‘You alright?’

_‘Sorry, I-’_

 

**[Call disconnected, 12:33]**

 

**[12:35]  
** John?

 

**[12:35]  
** _Yeah_

 

**[12:35]  
** Never mind.

 

**[12:36]  
** _Jim?_

 

**[12:37]  
** _Are you alright?_

 

**[12:40]  
** _Can I come round tonight?_

**[12:41]  
** _I’ll stay this time._

 

**[12:50]  
** Alright.


	6. Chapter 6

**[13:45]**  
_Come and play._  
_Bart’s Hospital rooftop.  
_ _SH_

 

 **[13:50]**  
I’m waiting…  
JM

 

* * *

 

**[23:23]  
** _Jim?_

**[23:24]  
** _I know you’re there._

**[23:25]  
** _You’re not dead._

**[23:26]  
** _You can’t be dead._

**[23:27]  
** _We agreed, Jim._

**[23:28]  
** _You don’t leave me, I don’t leave you._

**[23:28]  
** _Come back to me._

**[23:29]  
** _Is it because I didn’t crack your code?_

**[23:30]  
** _Jim, please_

* * *

**[06:12]  
** _There has to be a code, the key_

**[06:13]  
** _Some way to bring you back._

**[07:00]  
** _I believe in James Moriarty._

* * *

**[23:55]  
** _I cant get the image out of my head._

**[23:56]  
** _The blood._

**[23:58]  
** _So much blood_

**[23:58]  
** _I need a distraction, but there’s nothing._

**[00:00]  
** _I need you._

**[00:01]  
** _You’ve gone and left me without a distraction._

**[00:01]  
** _Now all that’s left is the final problem._

**[00:02]  
** _We were meant to face it together_

* * *

**[12:21]  
** _The fox pin you wore at the trial. There’s a fairy tale, a Grimm one, about a fox that fakes his own death._ _Were you giving me clues? Foreshadowing?_

**[12:22]  
** _I found it in my desk drawer. Does that mean something?_

**[12:22]**  
_Of course not.  
_ _Sorry. That’s my weakness though. Everything has to be clever._

**[12:25]  
** _You were so clever._

* * *

**[18:35]  
** _I can’t believe you’d be so petty as to kill yourself just so you could say you beat me._

**[18:40]  
** _I know it’s not true, but it hurts less than the truth._

**[19:01]  
** _I can’t believe you did this to me._

**[19:05]  
** _Is this your idea of just trying to have some fun?_

**[19:05]  
** _Cunt._

**[19:06]  
** _You didn’t have to do this._

**[19:06]  
** _I’d have helped you._

**[19:07]  
** _You stubborn arse._

**[19:10]  
** _You planned this all along. You were always in control._

**[19:11]  
** _After all, you did tell me how this ends._

* * *

**[09:44]  
** _I may be ordinary but you were anything but._

**[09:45]  
** _You were extraordinary, ingenious._ _A worthy foe. With true method to your madness_

**[09:47]  
** _Would you have killed them?_

**[09:47]  
** _Of course you would have._

**[10:00]  
** _We were the anomalies out of the ordinary_

**[10:01]  
** _And you’ve gone and left me all alone_

**[10:01]  
** _You burnt the heart out of me, Jim Moriarty. Congratulations._

**[10:02]  
** _I can’t wait to shake hands with you in hell._

**[10:10]  
** _I could do it sooner if you came back._

* * *

**[22:56]  
** _Did I disappoint you?_

**[22:59]  
** _I'm sorry if I did_

**[23:00]  
** _I didn’t mean to_

**[23:30]**  
_I want you back  
_ _I can make it up to you, just please come back_

* * *

**[02:27]  
** _You lied. There were 4 gunmen. 4 bullets. 4 victims._

**[03:12]  
** _Were you religious? You blessed me. You blessed me and in doing so you cursed me forever._

**[03:20]  
** _So many things I didn’t know about you._

**[03:31]  
** _I’m so alone without you._

**[03:31]  
** _Jim, come back to me. Please._

**[03:59]  
** _Were you going to hug me, too?_

**[04:00]  
** _You should have hugged me._

**[04:01]  
** _If I’d have known_

**[04:01]  
** _I should have known._

**[04:03]  
** _I wouldn’t have let go._

**[04:10]  
** _I lost you the moment I left that morning._

**[04:10]  
** _I should have stayed._

**[04:15]  
** _I was scared by how I felt about you._

**[04:16]  
** _I never did get round to saying it._

**[Outbound call, 04:20]**

 

‘Error: the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.’

_‘Oh.’_

**[Call disconnected, 04:20]**

* * *

**[23:35]  
** _I know your number’s been disconnected. Probably Mycroft_

**[23:36]  
** _But we still need to finish the game_

**[23:36]  
** _The final act_

**[23:36]  
** _You took your last turn_

**[23:37]  
** _Now it’s time for me to take mine_

**[23:37]  
** _I am you and you are me_

**[23:40]  
** _I’ll shake hands with you in hell soon, Jim._

**[23:40]  
** _Jim, my love._

**[23:40]  
** _Please forgive me._

**Author's Note:**

> Idk I wanted to write an angsty sheriarty text fic don't judge me


End file.
